Archive | Women’s Issues

Know How To Overcome Depression

There are times in a persons life where loneliness and lack of contentment is experienced. Depression is a state where an individual feels bored and sad. This feeling can be disturbing especially when a person seems so low and cannot overcome the obstacles that he is experiencing.

Many have thought that this emotional problem is not that serious to worry about. Studies have proven that this state of depression can be an illness and must be treated. Some depressed people may go to a physician for check up and consultation. It could be more advisable if the person would see a therapist.

Most depression therapists are very good in finding the reason why a person became depressed. The process in which a therapist treats depression is through emotional and psychological approach. On the other hand, a doctor will recommend patients to take anti depressant medicines. There are instances that have happened where a doctor treating a patient for depression was involved in such controversies where improper medications were applied.

An expert for depression would classify a depressed person if he shows some symptoms of significant weight loss, increase in appetite, loss of agility, or weight gain because of excessive eating. Others who are depressed may also encounter problems in sleeping or insomnia, over sleeping, decrease of sexual interest, and the lack of interest in lifestyle activities.

Some indications of depression may also come in a more emotional approach like the feeling of sadness and boredom, feeling of being a useless individual, the feeling of guilt to oneself, the feeling of being undecided to some simple decisions, and the decrease of the ability of the mind to think and concentrate. The most frightening symptoms of depression may come if a person is always thinking of his death or an individual wants to commit suicide.

Here are some ways to deal with depression in a personal approach

1. A person must force himself to go outside. Do not even bother if the climate is not that good. Try to have a walk outside, read a book, or even try to write a poem. This can be an effective idea to overcome the depression rather than staying on the room alone.

2. It is always better if there are people that will support the person in depression. It is recommended that a person seek for a friend or a companion while he is still in the stage of recovering depression. If the individual is not use to this kind of therapy, the Internet should be a very good resort to find ways how to find ways to treat this kind of illness. It could be a little awkward to find some other people who are experiencing depression, but there is the possibility that there are others out there that can relate.

3. It is advisable for the individual to write what he feels at the moment. If there are no friends to tell what the problems are, he may try writing about the feeling so that the hatred or sadness will subside. Holding the feeling can just add more depression.

4. Meditation can be a good tool to overcome the depression. Deep breathing and good relaxation can relieve anxiety and pressure that may lead to depression.

Depression can be treated if the person realizes that he must also do his part on overcoming the illness. If these recommended ways do not show any development to let go of depression then it should be best if the person seek the help of a doctor or a therapist.

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Depression Treatment and Changing your Diet, Results could beat using drugs.

I had stated in a previous article how Yoga could work as a natural depression treatment based on my own experiences. To add to that information-being a very important limb of Yoga into itself- what you eat also has an effect on your mental health. Consequently, if youre interested in a drug-free treatment of depression, without the side-effects common to most depression medications, a crucial step will be to make some dietetic changes amongst other factors.

However, what should be the main priority, to avoid adding insult to injury when using depression medications, will ironically be avoiding their use considering the many side effects common to these anti-depression drugs. Effective as they may be for a while, its been noted that these substances have several side effects which may include nausea, fatigue, insomnia and some sexual dysfunctions. In some cases on mental side effects, mania has even been reported; so needless to say, a drug free depression treatment might be your best AND safest bet for your health.

Now, when in depression, most of us have the tendency to binge in an effort to mask our feelings or deaden the pain, some of us go as far as soliciting the use of alcohol, drugs or even sex for depression help. Yes, they may give some relief for a while, but when these mere distractions wear off, the symptoms of depression always do come back, and with a vengeance.

This considered, it will be safe to say the first step of a dietetic factor in regards to depression treatment could be refraining from food, at least for a while friends, really.

An observance of nature will show us that when animals are frightened or angered, they refrain from eating until after the passage of considerable time. It is true that under stressful circumstances many civilized people refrain from eating and find in truth that they lack the desire for food, but it is also too often that most will eat large meals under these circumstances, which will be mostly disease forming foods to start with, that as a consequence, complicates or altogether halts an already retarded ongoing digestion. This endless cycle leads to even more toxins and poisons in an already encumbered body.

So what are you saying Foras thats my name by the way, I should fast or something? Well, if you can, that will be excellent. At least till your emotional balance returns, which will be the end result as the body is not taxed with the duties of digestion, assimilation and re-building. Your mind clears and all moroseness disappears and consequently, we tend to find the answers to the problems warranting a treatment for depression in the first place.

Now for many, I agree it might be asking for too much to fast during a stressful time based on old habits, but as an alternative, it will be advisable to steer clear of harmful mucus forming foods and partake of body healing ones Fruits and Vegetables. A restricted diet of one kind of fruit can be considered a camouflaged fasts but you have to be knowledgeable of its season, how it was grown organically or conventional and even when to eat as body cleansing and building do occur at specific times of the day.

Now, not to get of the subject of depression treatment, these steps, be they a fast or a healthier diet, will ensure that the body is cleaner and well we all should know by now that a cleaner body equates to a cleaner mind. In fact Yoga sages this obviously showing my vote of Yoga for anti-depression suggest that certain foods, which they coin as rajasic stimulating foods including Spices, alcohol, and animal products foods have a negative stimulating effect on the nervous and endocrine systems, the two main ones that are related to mental health and consequently depression.

Based on their impeccable analysis of the human body, it may be safe to say these old Yoga Sages are completely right in suggesting we as humans-or at least those of us seeking the use of Yoga for depression treatment-should abstain from these foods for optimal success.

Is it a co-incidence that these same foods are the ones that have been shown to wreak havoc on our physical health? I think not folks.

This considered, instead of introducing chemical substances into your body in a quest for seeking depression treatment, from the facts above, it will be wise to first make a dietetic change, which again may include a short fast, at least to clear our minds first to tackle our problems, then eat the proper foods for nourishment and of course partake in some physical exercise my choice being some Yoga to obtain the inevitable feel-good results.

Depression is something we all may go through at some point, but thankfully relief and a successful treatment of it is not out of reach and this without harmful side-effects.

So empower yourself to a successful depression treatment targeting its root cause with drug-free methods of healing. On the subject of diet and depression treatment, I choose to remind you of this quote Let your foods be your medicine and your medicine your foods By Hippocrates the Father or Medicine

May happiness be yours.

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Fighting Withdrawal Methadone Abuse & Addiction & Testing

Methadone is a prescription medication that is used to treat severe pain. It also helps those addicted to heroin to cease their use of the drug without experiencing horrendous withdrawal symptoms. Since heroin causes an excess of dopamine to be released into the brain, addicts feel a constant need for the drug to maintain this high. Methadone satisfies this need for an opiate without the euphoria associated with heroin. While users of methadone are ultimately transferring their dependence from one drug to another, they become more stable and no longer experience urgent impulses to take heroin. Once the desire to take heroin is completely diminished, patients are then weaned off of the methadone, although this process can sometimes take several years to complete.

Effects of Methadone Methadone side effects can vary greatly and should be closely monitored. Symptoms that are typical of methadone users include upset stomach, headache, drowsiness, constipation, dry mouth, insomnia, decreased sex drive and excessive sweating. Severe side effects should be reported to your doctor. These methadone side effects include lightheadedness, swelling of extremities, rash, hives, itching, difficulty breathing and chest pain.

A methadone overdose can be very serious. Should someone you know exhibit the symptoms, call 911 or poison control immediately. Warning signs of a methadone overdose include loss of consciousness, coma, difficulty breathing, extremely small pupils, clammy skin and loss of muscle tone.

It should also be noted that methadone has a high interaction ratio with other drugs. For instance, Elavil is the brand name for amitriptyline, a tricyclic antidepressant. Taking both Elavil and methadone can be potentially hazardous. A methadone interaction with Elavil could cause a dangerously high dose of methadone to be released into your system, causing an overdose. Should an overdose not occur, it is still highly likely that once the Elavil exits your system, withdrawal symptoms will be experienced for the high levels of methadone that were previously experienced.

Symptoms of methadone withdrawal include dilated pupils, irritability, stomach pain, fever, sweating, runny nose and eyes and nausea.

Signs of Methadone Addiction As with any addiction, someone with a methadone addiction will do whatever it takes to continue taking the drug. Some may make their doctors believe they require a higher dosage of methadone, while others may double up on their dosages. Still others may continue to take heroin and use methadone as a topper of sorts. Methadone is addictive, and most who begin taking methadone as a means of ceasing an addiction to heroin or another opiate become addicted to the new drug. Tolerance and dependence develops, creating the need for a methadone detox program, which can take much longer to complete than many other rehabilitation programs.

How To Test For Methadone Abuse Methadone drug testing is an invaluable resource for many individuals, including employers, parents and government agencies. While methadone does have its legitimate purposes, extremely high doses of the substance can create dangerous side effects and should be monitored. Methadone drug tests come in a variety of forms including urine drug tests, saliva drug tests and hair drug tests. Each of these methods works very well in detecting methadone in an individuals system. For a longer testing window, hair follicle methadone drug testing is the way to go. Results are achieved in a laboratory setting and can detect methadone use for up to the past 90 days.

Employers benefit from methadone drug tests, as they prevent potential drug-related liability claims, accidents and other misfortunes from occurring. Investing in a drug testing program helps to increase employee productivity and maintain the positive image you want for your company.

While methadone is a prescription substance, it can be obtained on the street illegally. Parents who are concerned about their children or teenagers behavior can benefit from methadone drug testing tremendously. Drug test kits put your mind at rest and allow you to either put the question of whether or not drug use is occurring in your house behind you or take the next step in getting your teen drug rehabilitation.

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Deciphering Stress and Anxiety; Relieving Ourselves from the Daily Grind

Stress and anxiety go hand in hand. It is said that one of the major symptoms of stress is anxiety. Aside from that, it is stress that is commonly blamed for a staggering eighty percent of all illnesses either directly or indirectly.

Stress comes from the pressures we feel in life, as we are pushed by work or any other task that puts undue pressure on our minds and body, adrenaline is released, extended stay of the hormone causes depression, a rise in the blood pressure and other negative changes and effects.

One of them is anxiety. With anxiety, fear overcomes all emotions accompanied by worry and apprehension, making a person a recluse and a bagful of jitters. Other symptoms are chest pains, dizziness, and shortness of breath and panic attacks.

When this happens to us, we are endangering our overall health. Stress and anxiety affects many factors in our body not only in our mental state. Cancer and other deadly diseases are related to stress and anxiety because of the changes in the chemical composition in our body due to stress and anxiety.

You don’t have to be a victim of stress and anxiety, its just all about discipline and having a proper schedule. Not taking in anything you cannot handle will be a lot of help. Learn your limitations and stick to it. Do not over exert yourself. Just try to go over the border an inch at a time.

You can lead a productive successful and fulfilling life and career without the need to endanger your health. If not, you are not only killing yourself, you are also sending your family and friends and all the people around you away.

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Consciousness in Healing the Hidden Self

The acts of self-consciousness and self-control go hand in hand. The fact is that when we are self-conscious we are better able to exhibit self-control. There are many persons out there that are not self aware or conscious of themselves and they are not in control of their emotions and actions. Being self-aware is important as it can affect or self-development and progression through life. It is crucial that we are able to be aware of all that we do and say and know that these things will affect circumstances as well. Being self-conscious is not always a bad thing as we like to think but if we relate it to being self-aware, we see the benefits.

If we are self-aware, it is less likely that we will act on impulse. It is more likely the case that we will be ready and able to assess a situation properly and show self-control in deciding how to approach the situation. The self-awareness that we possess will therefore directly affect our self-control. It is crucial that we are able to become self-aware persons in order to grab control of our emotions and actions. This can be done in many ways but these depend on the will power of the individual involved and the desire to take control of their lives.

Some of the ways to move the process to self-awareness and self-control along include the need for professional assistance. There are many programmes that offer techniques to assist in this process. These are offered by many self-development persons and are a good start if we do not have the time or will power to devote to the process on our own. We may not make the time unless we are enrolled in a class or unless we are motivated externally to do so. In these cases, the programmes can be a great starting point.

If we do have some self-control then it is good to try the other option of working on self-awareness and control on our own. There are many persons that have highlighted the great benefits of the use of meditation. This can assist the individual greatly as it leads the exploration into self and opens the awareness that is needed for better self-control. Meditation has numerous benefits to its users aside from these. It has been reputed to be of assistance in stress relief and the prevention of more serious illnesses such as heart disease and many more. The relaxing effect of meditation and the exploration into self-are able to translate to a better awareness overall and better self control.

The downside of meditation is that it can take a while to reap benefits and there are often persons that will become bored with the process and not give the method the required time to assist them. Meditation is not an overnight fix by any means and can take months and years of dedication for you to achieve all the results. The meditation process requires quiet and peace, which can often be hard for many of us to source. Not all these challenges however stop the fact that it is one of the best ways to grasp control of self and become more self-aware.

There are other factors that can assist and that can lead you down the road to better self-awareness and self-control. There is a lot of information available in self-development sites that show you the importance of self-awareness and self-control to your life. These are things that can greatly affect the quality of your life and should not be disregarded.

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Suicide is Not an Option

On December 12th, 1992, my brother committed suicide. The consequences were devestating to everyone involved. Maybe this story will help someone who is contemplating suicide to decide against it.

Suicide is not the solution that some may think it is. Problems and unresolved issues will haunt family and friends for many decades.

My nephew, who was just a baby at the time, would always ask about his uncle. He eventually learned to point up at the sky and say, “Uncle Scott”.

But the reality is that he missed out on having the benefit and support of his uncle as he grew up. And of course, there are countless interactions with family members that will be missed over the decades.

Suicide is permanent. And the effects that it has on loved ones also lasts over a life time.

My brother was only 22 years old at the time he chose to commit suicide. I was only 24.

I remember going to the viewing and seeing his lifeless body. They couldn’t quite erase all of the signs of his violent death. And that image will stick with the living for the rest of their lives.

In the end, the temporary pain someone escapes by committing suicide might be overshadowed by the pain and sadness of family and friends. That pain may continue through the decades whenever they think about it.

The missed opportunities for interaction also impedes the growth of everyone else. Countless interactions that would have occurred are all lost now.

Who knows how destiny was changed by such an event. The family that he may have had will not exist now.

The triumphs and set backs of a life will never be realized. The fulfillment of a lifetime was cut short by a decision that may have been made rashly at a moment of personal confusion or pain.

We never know who it is in our destiny to meet and interact with over a lifetime. All of those ‘plays’ of life will never be able to exist because one of the characters on the stage will not be there to fulfill his role.

So, the total sum of the tragedy is really unknown but it seems likely that over what would have amounted to decades of time, that sum must be quite high. I guess we won’t get the chance to find out.

Though I am revealing this personal family tragedy to the masses through this article, if it saves a single life, it will be worth it. Drop me a line if you ever want to talk, I would be happy to hear from you.

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Health Resort Spas of Asia A Mixture of Spirituality and Health

Todays life is fast paced, hectic and very competitive making people to crave for leisure time. The leisure time away from the busy schedule is treated as an eternal time and health resort spas offer such heavenly leisure pursuit. Resort in general is a place for relaxation and recreation. The main activities of such resorts include indulging oneself with great drink, food, sports activities, lodging, shopping and entertainment. Resorts can be one of the either, one like the town which itself is a place for tourism and holidaying where most of the local activities take place, generally not run by one company, or it can be a vacation centre which is run by one company providing all the needs and wants of the vacationers during their stay. Spas are places which are believed to provide health to the people through soaking in water. The water used is a mineral water or water drawn from hot springs. Some may even include cold water for treatments. Among different spa types available like the holiday spas, destination or resort spas and trim spas specific for weight loss regime, the health resort spas use thermal bath or balneotherapy or hydrotherapy for giving health benefits to the users.

Health resort spas are closely associated with tourism and travel. They are very popular, as business tours often involve making the much required deals while doing it completely at leisure. This is the main reason for the transition of hotels, resorts and spas into health resort spas.

Health resort spas of Asia are very famous. They are attracting people from all over the world who come for beauty and health solutions. Asian health resort spas adopt the healing wisdom of spiritual gurus and spa experts, a haven or organic and natural way of living. Some of the health resort spas are located in a tranquil, serene environment pampering the clients with a variety of massages, body treatments, health related therapies and making the experience an unforgettable one for most of them.

Treatments offered by health resort spas of Asia

Health resort spas of Asia use some of the ancient holistic and spiritual healing treatments like the yoga, Reiki and Ayurveda which are meant for restoring inner calm, improving memory, balancing emotions, refreshing the body, enhancing skin complexion by exfoliation, cleaning and toning, reducing weight while strengthening the muscles and bones etc. The very famous cranial therapy is used to balance the circulation of the liquid around the brain releasing any accumulated stress by applying gentle movements on the vertebrae and skull. They also use ingredients which are available in the kitchen for natural facemasks like the papaya mask, honey mask, healing herbs, sea salt face scrub etc. Aroma therapy massage offered in these health resort spas blends essential oils to rejuvenate and relax the body. Some of the latest treatments include traditional Chinese medication, gem therapy, crystal therapy and light, color and sound filtered through the body in a steam room, using flower essences etc. They aim in revitalizing the mind, soul and the body through the above processes.

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Depression-Far Reaching Tendrils

The positive behavior will occur if you practice relaxation techniques. The stress and anxiety free lifestyle you adapt will be a normal part of your life if you eat correctly and hold tight to the conviction that less is most times more. Other wise anxiety can affect us in an unhealthful manner quite rapidly.

Depression touches millions of people. It not only touches the people who are depressed it also has an effect on the people who have contact with the person that is depressed. So depression is a universal problem with tendrils that are far reaching.

As with any mental condition there are various reasons for its existence. Stress can be a perfectly legitimate reason that a person suffers from depression. Of course stress is a generalization of a multi-reaching condition also. Depression can be genetic. There are many studies to prove or disprove that depression is passed along from generation to generation. There are also different personal beliefs among people who dont understand or suffer from depression that suggest depressed individuals need to just work harder at being happy.

If you have not ever experienced a low point in your life you are an extremely fortunate soul. If you have, then you know it is not always so easy as talking your way through to the other happy side of life. Thankfully there are various forms of sound and productive help for depression.

One way to stave off depression and keep personal, occupational, and relationship experiences on an even keel are to maintain a healthful diet and get regular exercise.
This may seem like oversimplified advice, however it is the basis for spiritual, physical and mental well being no matter where you live or what you do.

If however you are maintaining a healthful lifestyle and depression is still an issue, your options are more diverse than they have ever been in the history of man. That is not to say there werent amazing people in the past that dealt with depression in a compassionate and effective manner. There were, however, some accounts in history where quite radical treatments were performed on individuals who could not just snap out of their depressions.

Medical doctors, doctors of the psychological, and psychiatric fields are best equipped to deal with issues of depression. These professionals have many methods for treating depression. It is in your best interest to begin with the least invasive of these methods in order to rule out certain conditions or triggers before medication is prescribed.

Medicines are effectively used to treat most types of depression. You should not feel weak or insecure about your need to utilize medications in order to aid in curing your depression. Any means by which you gain control of your depression, be it by method, behavioral modifications or medication it is a good means.

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Anxiety – Questions Asked By Concerned Candidates

What is anxiety is a question asked by many people who tend to feel confused when trying to decipher the difference between this illness as it is seen and that of others. Is anxiety an illness – is it an ailment or is it a disorder – yes anxiety is classed as all three. Different stages denote whether it is an illness or a disorder.

For the severe cases that show signs of stress which is escalating out of control is a sure way of telling that the patient is suffering from an anxiety disorder.

Anxiety gives out a feeling of uneasiness. At some stage in a persons life there will have been times where they have experienced the discomfort of anxiety with anxious moments. Moments like this can arise when faced with dilemmas otherwise seen as stressful situations, for example before going for a job interview – sitting for an exam or during that of a worrying time through illness.

Most questions asked once again by concerned candidates is it normal to feel anxious when faced against something difficult or dangerous, yes everyone can suffer from anxious bouts – it is not an unusual response to stressful situations. It has been known to improve performance in some cases

However, in the UK the one in ten people that suffer from anxiety are cases of severity where the anxiety interferes with their normal daily lifestyle. Excessive anxiety is notably directed or associated with many other psychiatric conditions, like depression. Anxiety is without doubt considered abnormal when the signs or symptoms hang around longer than necessary – in other words prolonged.
Another strong cause behind prognosis of severity is when the anxiety bouts develop to a stage where it takes hold over on how you live your life – once again meaning how it interferes with day to day activities.

If this being the case then those anxious events is classed as an anxiety disorder – where medical treatment is needed

The physical symptoms of anxiety are identified by how the brain sends signals to other parts of the body preparing for a fight or flight reaction. The human brain releases stress hormones, which includes adrenaline. Common symptoms that can occur are abdominal discomfort, rapid heartbeat or palpitations, dizziness, diarrhoea, shortness of breath, dry mouth, tightness or pain in chest, frequent urination or finding it difficult to swallow.

Anxiety is seen as the culprit when a mental health problem is recognised, such as depression, alcohol abuse, personality disorder, even withdrawal from the long-term use of drugs or tranquillisers.

The signs to look out for when psychological anxiety is present are inability to concentrate, fear of madness, insomnia, irritability or anger – even the common feeling of discomfort where loss of control of your actions is evident – which is a familiar symptom high on the list of the psychological side. Some types of anxieties are closely associated with physical illnesses which – can be a thyroid disorder. If treatment takes place for whatever the diagnosed illness is, then the anxiety can improve over time.

If at any time that you or a member of the family even a close friend are showing signs of stress related concerns then please consult with your doctor – especially before buying over the counter medication.

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Traumas as Social Interactions

“He” in this text – to mean “He” or “She”.

We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Traumas are the complex outcomes of psychodynamic and biochemical processes. But the particulars of traumas depend heavily on the interaction between the victim and his social milieu.

It would seem that while the victim progresses from denial to helplessness, rage, depression and thence to acceptance of the traumatizing events – society demonstrates a diametrically opposed progression. This incompatibility, this mismatch of psychological phases is what leads to the formation and crystallization of trauma.

PHASE I

Victim phase I – DENIAL

The magnitude of such unfortunate events is often so overwhelming, their nature so alien, and their message so menacing – that denial sets in as a defence mechanism aimed at self preservation. The victim denies that the event occurred, that he or she is being abused, that a loved one passed away.

Society phase I – ACCEPTANCE, MOVING ON

The victim’s nearest “Society” – his colleagues, his employees, his clients, even his spouse, children, and friends – rarely experience the events with the same shattering intensity. They are likely to accept the bad news and move on. Even at their most considerate and empathic, they are likely to lose patience with the victim’s state of mind. They tend to ignore the victim, or chastise him, to mock, or to deride his feelings or behaviour, to collude to repress the painful memories, or to trivialize them.

Summary Phase I

The mismatch between the victim’s reactive patterns and emotional needs and society’s matter-of-fact attitude hinders growth and healing. The victim requires society’s help in avoiding a head-on confrontation with a reality he cannot digest. Instead, society serves as a constant and mentally destabilizing reminder of the root of the victim’s unbearable agony the Job syndrome.

PHASE II

Victim phase II – HELPLESSNESS

Denial gradually gives way to a sense of all-pervasive and humiliating helplessness, often accompanied by debilitating fatigue and mental disintegration. These are among the classic symptoms of PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. These are the bitter results of the internalization and integration of the harsh realization that there is nothing one can do to alter the outcomes of a natural, or man-made, catastrophe. The horror in confronting one’s finiteness, meaninglessness, negligibility, and powerlessness – is overpowering.

Society phase II – DEPRESSION

The more the members of society come to grips with the magnitude of the loss, or evil, or threat represented by the grief inducing events – the sadder they become. Depression is often little more than suppressed or self-directed anger. The anger, in this case, is belatedly induced by an identified or diffuse source of threat, or of evil, or loss. It is a higher level variant of the “fight or flight” reaction, tampered by the rational understanding that the “source” is often too abstract to tackle directly.

Summary Phase II

Thus, when the victim is most in need, terrified by his helplessness and adrift – society is immersed in depression and unable to provide a holding and supporting environment. Growth and healing is again retarded by social interaction. The victim’s innate sense of annulment is enhanced by the self-addressed anger depression of those around him.

PHASE III

Both the victim and society react with RAGE to their predicaments. In an effort to narcissistically reassert himself, the victim develops a grandiose sense of anger directed at paranoidally selected, unreal, diffuse, and abstract targets frustration sources. By expressing aggression, the victim re-acquires mastery of the world and of himself.

Members of society use rage to re-direct the root cause of their depression which is, as we said, self directed anger and to channel it safely. To ensure that this expressed aggression alleviates their depression – real targets must are selected and real punishments meted out. In this respect, “social rage” differs from the victim’s. The former is intended to sublimate aggression and channel it in a socially acceptable manner – the latter to reassert narcissistic self-love as an antidote to an all-devouring sense of helplessness.

In other words, society, by itself being in a state of rage, positively enforces the narcissistic rage reactions of the grieving victim. This, in the long run, is counter-productive, inhibits personal growth, and prevents healing. It also erodes the reality test of the victim and encourages self-delusions, paranoidal ideation, and ideas of reference.

PHASE IV

Victim Phase IV – DEPRESSION

As the consequences of narcissistic rage – both social and personal – grow more unacceptable, depression sets in. The victim internalizes his aggressive impulses. Self directed rage is safer but is the cause of great sadness and even suicidal ideation. The victim’s depression is a way of conforming to social norms. It is also instrumental in ridding the victim of the unhealthy residues of narcissistic regression. It is when the victim acknowledges the malignancy of his rage and its anti-social nature that he adopts a depressive stance.

Society Phase IV – HELPLESSNESS

People around the victim “society” also emerge from their phase of rage transformed. As they realize the futility of their rage, they feel more and more helpless and devoid of options. They grasp their limitations and the irrelevance of their good intentions. They accept the inevitability of loss and evil and Kafkaesquely agree to live under an ominous cloud of arbitrary judgement, meted out by impersonal powers.

Summary Phase IV

Again, the members of society are unable to help the victim to emerge from a self-destructive phase. His depression is enhanced by their apparent helplessness. Their introversion and inefficacy induce in the victim a feeling of nightmarish isolation and alienation. Healing and growth are once again retarded or even inhibited.

PHASE V

Victim Phase V – ACCEPTANCE AND MOVING ON

Depression – if pathologically protracted and in conjunction with other mental health problems – sometimes leads to suicide. But more often, it allows the victim to process mentally hurtful and potentially harmful material and paves the way to acceptance. Depression is a laboratory of the psyche. Withdrawal from social pressures enables the direct transformation of anger into other emotions, some of them otherwise socially unacceptable. The honest encounter between the victim and his own possible death often becomes a cathartic and self-empowering inner dynamic. The victim emerges ready to move on.

Society Phase V – DENIAL

Society, on the other hand, having exhausted its reactive arsenal – resorts to denial. As memories fade and as the victim recovers and abandons his obsessive-compulsive dwelling on his pain – society feels morally justified to forget and forgive. This mood of historical revisionism, of moral leniency, of effusive forgiveness, of re-interpretation, and of a refusal to remember in detail – leads to a repression and denial of the painful events by society.

Summary Phase V

This final mismatch between the victim’s emotional needs and society’s reactions is less damaging to the victim. He is now more resilient, stronger, more flexible, and more willing to forgive and forget. Society’s denial is really a denial of the victim. But, having ridden himself of more primitive narcissistic defences – the victim can do without society’s acceptance, approval, or look. Having endured the purgatory of grieving, he has now re-acquired his self, independent of society’s acknowledgement.

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